Basic Approach to Diffusing Coworker Conflict

Feeling hot under the collar and it’s not the summer heat? Especially at work? Do not let workplace conflicts get out of hand. Take a deep breath and cool down…there are constructive ways of managing workplace conflicts.

Accept that conflict is natural and unavoidable. Wherever there are two or more people, conflict is inevitable. And in many cases (if handled correctly), conflict can be beneficial if you and your organization learn from it. First, think about the cause of the conflict; is it about communication? Lack of information? Uneven resources? Different values? Feeling overworked? Something else? Identifying the cause of the conflict (at least in your view) is the first step. Spend a few minutes thinking about the conflict from the other person’s perspective as well.

Next, think about how the conflict manifests itself. Has behavior deteriorated? Are you no longer receiving the information you need to do your job? Is the conflict important enough to address? Once you have decided that the conflict needs to be addressed and you’re ready to speak with the person in question, focus on the problem in the abstract rather than in terms of the other person’s personality. Do not make the conflict personal; focus on framing the issue around how it affects you at work.

If the issue is worth addressing directly, make sure you approach the person at an appropriate time and place. Verify that the other person has time to talk and you both can do so uninterrupted by phone calls and emails. Bring up the issue you’d like to discuss. Do not make accusations, and do not assume that you know why the person is acting in a particular way…or that they even know there is a problem. Use “I” statements, rather than “You” statements when telling this person how you feel. Make your perspective known, say how you feel and that you’d like to come up with a mutual solution and look for areas of conflict and agreement so you know what to focus on.

If it turns out you were wrong about something, or in-the-wrong overall, apologize and move on. Otherwise it could even help the situation in the long run for you to simply apologize for your part in the matter. And, once you agree on next steps together, keep your commitment. And follow up periodically with the other person to see how things are from their perspective – especially if lack of communication was what led to the situation in the first place. You don’t have to become best friends but a little “preventative maintenance” in your relationship with this person could go a long way – especially if you wind up pulling in the same direction and understand each other better.

What if Your Agency Doesn’t Fund Training?

Given budget pressures, many organizations are struggling to provide formal training for their employees. In fact, OPM’s 2018 Federal Workforce Priorities Report states that 88% of agencies struggle to provide needed training.

Given the very real difficulties many employees find getting the training and development they need, here are some DIY ideas for ensuring your developmental needs are met:

  • Look at your performance plan and the standards against which you are rated. In a perfect world, you should sit down with your rating official and discuss what good performance looks like. The next step of course is to identify areas where you think you might be able to improve and write them down.
  • Seek feedback from your supervisor, colleagues and subordinates. All of us need feedback to identify our strengths and areas for improvement. After a major project or presentation, ask for one thing you did well and one thing that you can improve. Try to solicit a variety of opinions so that you can see if a theme develops. Be sure to thank those who offered opinions.
  • Start keeping track of your feedback in a notebook, online system, or file. You may also want to consider grading yourself. If your job requires analytical skills, writing skills, interpersonal skills, and organization skills, how would you grade yourself in each? Focus on areas where you have rated yourself the lowest.
  • Pay attention to what your agency is interested in. If there are areas that are increasing in focus, while other areas are fading into the background, note them and make sure you have the skills needed for the future. Do what you can to focus on the future needs of your organization.
  • Get a mentor or a coach. If your organization has a formal mentoring program, use it. If not, try to find an informal mentor. Getting unbiased advice and guidance on the stops to take to enhance your skills can be invaluable.
  • Put together an Individual Development Plan (IDP). If your agency has a formal process for creating an IDP, use it! If not, nothing prevents you from putting together your own IDP. Writing things down will help hold yourself accountable. There are many free resources that you can take advantage of online. Many agencies have contracts / access to free online courses—use them! And, if you have a thoughtful, job-related IDP, your agency just might be more amenable to funding at least a small part of it.

No one cares more about your career than you do. Take the time to adequately and truthfully assess your skills vis-à-vis your current and stretch jobs and take proactive steps to take your career to the next level!

Development is About More than Training

Most agencies offer both formal and informal development opportunities. The formal type of development encompasses traditional training programs, while informal development occurs during every day work. Do not neglect the multiple informal opportunities most of us have to improve ourselves at work. And, in these times of increasing budget pressures, it may be easier to take advantage of informal, rather than formal opportunities.

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Take Advantage Of Informal Development Opportunities

Development is about more than just training. Most agencies offer both formal and informal development opportunities. The formal type of development encompasses traditional training programs, while informal development occurs during every day work. Do not neglect the multiple informal opportunities most of us have to improve ourselves at work. And, in these times of increasing budget pressures, it may be easier to take advantage of informal, rather than formal opportunities.

The following describes some examples of typical formal development programs. Not all agencies offer all of these opportunities.

Tuition Assistance Programs
Agencies may offer employees assistance to attend academic courses that are job related.

Targeted Career Training
In the case of the Career Intern Program, a centralized effort is used to provide effective and consistent training. This training often combines formal coursework with rotations and is based on defined competencies. Such program designs provide professional, technical, and leadership training.

Professional Development
Agencies may establish professional development programs designed to provide technical and general knowledge and experience to career employees. Agencies may also establish leadership development programs to ensure leaders continue to develop and “grow” the knowledge and skill necessary to effectively lead the organization. Such programs usually include well-rounded orientation consisting of formal coursework and on-the-job training assignments throughout the agency. The Senior Executive Service (SES) Candidate Development Program (CDP) is one such example.

Individual Learning Account
An Individual Learning Account (ILA) is a base amount of resources expressed in terms of dollars or hours, or both, set aside for an individual employee to use for his or her learning and development. Accounts may be used to develop knowledge, skills, and abilities directly related to the employee’s official duties. ILAs provide employees with flexible learning opportunities, and put the responsibility for learning in the hands of the learner.

Informal Development Opportunities

Managers can create development opportunities by creating situations for employees to learn informally. This type of development sometimes has a greater impact than more expensive formal training. Examples of informal development include the following:

Job rotations
Employees are appointed to new positions to learn about a different facet of the organization.

Special assignments
Tasks are given to employees to help them explore new areas and learn new skills.

Self-assessment
Employees are asked to analyze their needs and the efficacy of past training.

Coaching and counseling
Managers, team leaders, other employees give assistance and feedback on employee’s performance.

Job Aid/Demonstration
Sometimes a performance problem can be addressed with a quick demonstration or a simple instructional tool.

Mentoring
Senior colleague works with employee to help network, clarify goals, etc.

Learning teams
A team that is formed to address individual or group learning.

Self-development
Employees identify their own development needs and manage their own learning process.

Start an Individual Development Plan with a Few Easy Steps

An Individual Development Plan (IDP) can help you stay on course toward achieving your career development goals. But where and how do you begin? With these tips, you will learn to identify and describe your goals, choose activities that will help you meet them, set key milestones, and create a timeline for the completion of your goals.

Brainstorming and Preparation
To start the IDP process, first spend some time thinking about your career. As you do, ask yourself these questions:

  • How am I doing in my current job? In what areas do I excel? In what areas do I fall short, and what can I do to improve? Do I have all of the skills necessary to succeed?
  • What are my short-term career goals and developmental needs?
  • What developmental activities in my current job could help me develop the skills and knowledge I need for my target job?
  • Are there projects or experiences at work that could be helpful in my development?
  • Are there formal learning opportunities (e.g., conferences, virtual trainings, classes) that I would like to participate in?

As you consider these questions, write down your thoughts and note the areas with which you might need help. Be open and honest about your developmental needs. Finally, write down any career goals that emerge as a part of this brainstorm.

IDPs: Getting Started
Once you finish brainstorming, you should have some initial ideas for goals and relevant developmental opportunities. Now, begin to organize these ideas. Depending on where you work, you may have access to an IDP form. Your supervisor or HR specialist should be able to provide you with a form or another option if your organization does not participate in a formalized IDP process.

Generally, your IDP should include the following:

  • A clear statement of short-term career goals (within 1-2 years)
  • A clear statement of long-term career goals (within 3-5 years)
  • A specific action plan for the next year designed to help you move closer to achieving these goals

Creating Strong Goals
Don’t be afraid to set tough, but realistic, goals for yourself. Good career goals will help you to identify and focus your developmental efforts, bringing you closer to where you want to be in your career. By capturing both long-term (3-5 years) and short-term (1-2 years) goals, you can make sure your current efforts are supporting your future ambitions. Try to capture at least one long-term career goal and three to six short-term career goals in your IDP.

As you develop your IDP, make sure all of your goals:

  • Are SMART—Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound
  • Complement your organization’s mission, vision, and goals
  • Include any competencies you wish to develop
  • Contain the strategies you will use to accomplish your goals
  • Include the resources you will need
  • Explain how you will measure your progress
  • Include a deadline for achieving your goals
  • Finally, for each goal you set, identify one to three developmental activities that will help you achieve that goal.

Roles and Responsibilities for the IDP Process
To make your IDP experience as productive and efficient as possible, it helps to understand your role and your supervisor’s role in the process.

Your role is to:

  • Understand how well your skills and knowledge match what you need to complete your goals
  • Identify career goals, development needs, and training or developmental opportunities geared toward the achievement of your goals
  • Assess your progress toward reaching your goals

Your supervisor’s role is to:

  • Help you assess your strengths and development needs
  • Provide opportunities to discuss and plan your development
  • Help you identify training and developmental opportunities
  • Make sure that training and developmental opportunities align with your goals
  • Make sure that your goals and developmental needs align with the agency’s goals and objectives
  • Evaluate the outcome of your training and development

Planning for Your IDP Conversation
Once you’ve developed your IDP, you’ll want to set a time for reviewing your plan with your supervisor. Your supervisor is a valuable resource for your career planning and can help you explore possibilities you may not have considered.

The purpose of an IDP meeting with your supervisor is to come away with a comprehensive plan for your development. This includes goals as well as action items that will help you pursue your goals. You will have the opportunity to share what you have brainstormed and your supervisor will help you explore possibilities you may not have considered.

Be sure to schedule a follow-up meeting to review and adjust your plan as needed and check on your progress toward your goals.

Making Your IDP Conversation a Success
To make the most out of your conversation with your supervisor about your IDP:

  • Bring your development needs, goals, and potential resources to the discussion
  • Be open to your supervisor’s feedback and suggestions
  • Choose a time when both of you can stay focused on the development conversation without distractions or interruptions
  • Place timelines on your goals and objectives and set specific guidelines for follow-up
  • Schedule a follow-up meeting to review your progress

*Hat tip to the Department of Veterans Affairs for their excellent advice on career development.